Dear Blake,
I am the grandmother of eight wonderful grandchildren, whom I love dearly. There is, however, one aspect that I loathe: sleepovers. It doesn’t bother my husband that I’m stuck with endless loads of extra laundry: towels, wash cloths, sheets, blankets, comforters, etc. He works; I am disabled. When I tell him I can’t manage all the extra laundry, he asks, “Want to trade places?” Am I wrong in thinking he doesn’t care about me when he encourages these dreaded sleepovers?
Signed, Agatha
From Quincy, Massachusetts
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Dear Agatha,
It sounds to me like the sleepovers are an unfair burden being thrusted upon you. But if you’re not getting any help from your husband, you must become proactive and do things that are so outrageous, that your grandchildren will be reluctant to even walkdown the block that you live on. Here are some ideas. Tell your grandchildren that your house is haunted because the previous owners were brutally murdered, and for them not to be alarmed if they hear the sound of a chainsaw late at night. Or you can make sure that your linen is so filthy, that none of the kids wants to sleep there. To enhance this appearance, start swapping your clean linen out for some dirty linen from a homeless shelter. Or maybe this idea. Buy a horsewhip and assign them chores as they walk in the front door. Plus don’t allow any of them to speak or eat until all of their tasks done and pass your rigorous inspection. My last idea is this. Find the largest mouse traps you can purchase, and place a few of them in the house. If the kids are wondering why the traps are so big, tell them that you’ve seen a rat in your home that was so big, it was strong enough to open a refrigerator door… and bedroom doors too. I hope this helps.
Blake