Dear Blake,
My 33-year-old son, “Brett,” and his wife bought a new house and had their fence painted. Brett was proud of it. He texted a picture of the fence to my husband — his dad — and asked what he thought of it. My husband hated the color and told him it was terrible. The blunt honesty didn’t go over well with Brett, who told his dad, “Couldn’t you just have said to me, ‘If you like it, that’s all that matters. If you’re happy, I’m happy’?” But my husband kept pushing that he hated it, and the color he had chosen was a terrible mistake. Well, Brett hung up on him.
I forced my husband to call back and say what our son wanted to hear and smooth things over. He did it reluctantly, but still thinks he was right and that Brett acted like a baby. He insists he was “just being honest.” What do you think — is honesty always the best policy?
Signed, Melissa
From Anchorage, Alaska
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Dear Melissa,
What your husband did was insensitive. You should tell your son to be even more “brutally” honest to your husband, even if he makes things up to induce the emotional pain. Here are some ideas. Tell Brett to tell his dad, that anytime someone says they resemble each other, he usually punches the person… after throwing up. Or you can tell your son to tell his dad, that the color was chosen to deter losers like his father from ever visiting unannounced. Or Brett can to admit your dad that he made a terrible mistake with the fence color, and add, that it wasn’t as nearly as bad as his mother (you) lowering her standards and marrying such an idiot. And this last idea might finally get his father’s approval. If his dad is so sure how a fence should look, give him a surprise. One morning when he wakes up, the fence around his house will be gone, and placed around your house. If he comes over to your place to take it back, call the police, and hopefully the next fence that will be surrounding him will be patrolled by prison guards. I hope this helps.
Blake