Dear Blake,
I’m a 37-year-old woman who has had to move back to my mother’s home after ending a long-term relationship. I love her dearly and appreciate her letting me stay with her until I can get back on my feet. The problem is, I never have any alone time at home or even out when I socialize. She’s close with all my friends and frequently goes to the same bars and restaurants I do.
When I go out on weekends, she invariably asks me where I’m going and then shows up and sits with me and my group. I love her, but I really need some space. I’m single. I want to meet people when I’m out, and I can’t do it with her there. When I try to talk to her about it, she gets upset and thinks I don’t “ever” want her around. That’s not true. I just want my own social life without her always being there. Please help.
Signed, Contessa
From Chicago, Illinois
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Dear Contessa,
It is unfortunate that your mother is not respectful of your boundaries. So I suggest you start going places, that she wouldn’t be caught dead in. Here are some suggestions. Tell her you plan on start going to biker bars, and you don’t plan on taking more than one shower a month so you’ll fit in there. Or you can tell her you’re going to hanging out a local crack house, because you love have in depth conversations with people that are semi-conscious. Or maybe this idea. Go to a brothel and pretend to seek employment. If your mother shows up to see if you were serious, hand her a job application too. And if none of those don’t work, this last idea will. Because you live in Chicago, tell your mother you are going to a gang fight where both sides will be using automatic weapons. If your mother is in shock and wants to know why you are attending such and event, tell her because ESPN won’t cover it. I hope this helps.
Blake