Dear Blake,
I am 60 years old and married. Every time we see my wife’s family, her parents pressure me to buy a car. (Our old one got totaled.) We don’t leave the house often except for exercise, and our daughter delivers our groceries to us.
Because I got sick of the nagging, I purchased a 9-year-old vehicle. When I brought it home, my wife began griping incessantly about my choice. She didn’t like it and wanted to return it, so I did.
The next time we saw her parents, we told them we didn’t need a car and we’re happy without one. It made them very upset. Every time we have seen them since, they continue to pester me about it. What should I do about this infuriating situation?
Signed, Vincent
From Biloxi, Mississippi
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Dear Vincent,
I don’t think your in-laws should be pressuring you into buying a car. And if you’re 60, they are probably too old to be driving, and in fact, they can probably remember a time in their youth where there weren’t any such thing as cars. Anyway, here’s my suggestions on dealing with those morons. When you’re visiting them, park on their front lawn, and be sure and peel out when you leave which will distribute dirt on the windows of their home. Or, get one or both of them in your car and drive so recklessly, that they are convinced they are moments away from meeting some of their dead relatives. Or this idea. Inform your in-laws that while you’re behind the wheel you refuse to get bullied, and you try to run anyone off the road that appears to have road rage. And lastly try this. Tell them that you always keep a bottle of whiskey in the glove compartment that you consume while driving, because it help calms your nerves while on dangerous roads, and it suppresses your desire to strangle relatives that gives unsolicited advice. I hope this helps.
Blake