Dear Blake,
I’m 44 and divorced. I have no kids and I live with my parents. I didn’t finish college but I do have a job in my field of study. I’m happy in my job, have some friends and am content to not date anyone ever again. However, I feel like I’m a failure.
I’d be embarrassed to go to a school reunion and have to tell my former classmates about my pathetic life. I was always the ambitious one in my circle of friends. I was the one who was going to make something of myself and have an amazing career, a husband and kids. My parents are disabled, and it does help that I live with them. I pay rent/utilities and for my own groceries.
How can I convince myself that I haven’t made a complete mess of my life and that my circumstances don’t mean my life has been wasted?
Signed, Odessa
From Seattle, Washington
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Dear Orville,
So you have feelings of inadequacy and that life has passed you by? I suggest you go to your high school reunion, but be a lot more creative describing your past… even if it borderlines on you being delusional. Here some ideas for your consideration. Tell them you don’t have any kids because you haven’t found a man that is physically or intellectually worthy enough to be a part of you continuing your lineage. Tell them that you didn’t finish college because you were much smarter than the teachers, and you were literally teaching them, and you felt you were being taken advantage of by giving them a free education. Tell them you don’t date anymore, because your husband that you divorced felt that he was holding you back from your potential, and any relationship would slow you down from achieving international fame. And finally, you show your compassionate side. Tell your former classmates at your reunion that you intentionally suppressed your ambitions, because you would feel awkward coming to reunion being incredibly successful, and hanging out with a bunch of frustrated losers. I hope this helps.
Blake