Dear Blake,

I’ve been seeing a married man for more than 30 years. Everything was fine between us until recently. I have begun to suspect one of my female neighbors is seeing him as well. I’m contemplating getting in touch with his wife and my neighbor’s husband and telling them about my suspicions.

I need to know what to do so this relationship with the neighbor will stop. I know by telling on him, I’ll lose him, but if the neighbor is after him because of his money, I don’t want his wife thinking I’m the one taking it from him. What should I do?

Signed, Brenda
From Norfolk, Virginia

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Dear Brenda,

You are in a very unique dilemma. Either way you’ll break up a home, and/or one of two women (if not both) will probably physically break you up. The following are some things you should consider. If you were thinking rationally, you should’ve concluded that if he is seeing you, he is probably seeing other misguided tramps too. Or, maybe the wife will respect you more because you’re the first mistress, if you can convince her that seniority should count for something. You said you haven’t been involved with anyone other than this married man for the past three decades? That suggests to me that either you are crazy in love, or you’re so ugly that only married men will date you, so they’ll have a legit reason for never wanting to be seen with you in public. Lastly, try to visualize this picture. The wife might murder you and the other mistress and pen it on her husband. And even if she gets her 15 minutes of fame on Dateline and goes on trial, if there is a single woman on the jury, there’s no way she’ll get convicted. I hope this helps.

Blake