Dear Blake,
My husband and I recently hosted a dinner party for six close friends. I spent the day cleaning, cooking and setting the table nicely with flowers. Our guests were supposed to arrive at 5 p.m., but didn’t show up until 6. One couple brought their dog along, and proceeded to give it a bone on our newly cleaned couch.
The guests talked only with each other, and anytime my husband and I tried to talk, we were interrupted and the subject was changed back to their personal discussions, which included making plans for the next evening, cellphones ringing and calls being taken, etc.
One of the men was extremely rude. He complained about the ingredients of the food, demanded to move to the head of the table and made negative remarks throughout the meal, after which he abruptly announced he was tired and wanted to go home immediately.
My husband and I were very upset after they left, and my husband said he never wants to have them for dinner again. I need your advice because I’m close friends with the women and would like to clear the air. Meanwhile, I received two texts the next day thanking me for the “great dinner” and “lovely time.”
Signed, Regina
From Denver, Colorado
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Dear Regina,
What your “close” friends did when they came over for dinner, was wrong on so many levels. If you follow what I am about to suggest, those close friends of your will rather starve to death than ever again come to your place for a meal. Consider these possible options. The next time you are hosting, tell them anyone who is more than 10 minutes late, should bring a sack lunch if they plan on eating, because you will put their portion in the garbage disposal. To the couple that brought the dog and fed him a bone on the couch, tell them that in the future “no dogs” are allowed in your home, and add that the dog was definitely a better conversationalist than its owners. Or, inform everyone that they cannot use their cell phones during the gathering. To show you’re serious, have a sledge hammer for smashing the phones, and also use the hammer to smash the fingers of the guests that are using them. And lastly, send a text to all of the couples the following day. Tell each pair that they are your favorite couple, in spite of the things that the other two couples said about them. Hopefully when they eventually confront each other, no one knows mixed martial arts, or has a license to carry a concealed firearm. I hope this helps.
Blake