Dear Blake,
I have a co-worker I enjoyed talking to and being around. I’m 27, and she is 41. We used to sit together at lunch and during our break. All of a sudden, she stopped sitting with me during the first break but she still ate with me at lunch. Then she stopped eating with me at lunch!
I asked her if I said or did anything wrong and she said no. I asked her if she was avoiding me or had found something wrong, and she insisted there was nothing wrong and I worry too much. So now I sit alone and she sits somewhere else by herself with her phone. I was nice to her. We talked about our day and sometimes shared snacks during the break. All that is gone now.
I know people grow apart, but it stings. Being an adult means moving on, but when something happens for no apparent reason, there has to be an explanation. Can you share your insight on this dilemma?
Signed, Melvin
From Miami, Florida
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Dear Melvin,
Why your co-worker decided to start snubbing is a mystery. I’ll offer you some possibilities, and unfortunately, they all paint you in a negative light. It could be your personal hygiene. If people are reluctant to get on the same elevator you’re on, then start taking longer showers. Or, if you have lousy work habits, she’ll understandably be reluctant to be seen with you, out of fear that being near you will appear that she sympathizes with a worthless employee, which in turn could ruin her career. It could even be your actual lunch. Keep in mind, many people consider the sight or smell of certain ethnic foods, nauseating, and your meals may be making her queasy. But in my opinion, considering your age difference it’s highly likely that she realized that she’s a cougar and has developed some romantic feelings for you. She also could’ve concluded that she likes her men young, even younger than you, so you might be able to regain her attention if you told her that you will consider introducing her to your little brother. I hope this helps.
Blake