Dear Blake,

My wife’s 90th birthday is coming up soon. Our younger daughter is giving her a birthday party at a nice restaurant and inviting only women. When I asked her why I wasn’t invited, she said the party will be “more fun” with only ladies. I don’t understand or agree with this. I would enjoy visiting with the ladies. What do you think about her decision? I think it stinks.

Signed, Arthur
From Arlington, Texas

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Dear Arthur,

There are a number of reasons why your daughter is snubbing you regarding your wife’s birthday party. I didn’t include the obvious on the list, which is the thought of you makes her physically ill. Anyway, here are some other possibilities. Your wife might want to talk with other women about all the affairs she had with men that desired, rather than settling or maybe lowering her standards when she married you. Or, they might think you’re always looking for a free meal, and they want to deny you the opportunity of saying you left your wallet at home, after running up a very impressive tab. Or maybe this one. Your spouse might be embarrassed to be seen with you in public, because she feels you’re a worthless loser, and the only reason she married you is because she was drunk or lost a bet. And lastly, you not being invited might be construed as an act of compassion toward you. Because I think they may know something serious about your health status that you don’t know, and they don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable about them discussing your funeral arrangements. I hope this helps.

Blake