Dear Blake,
“Dana” has been my best friend since 1995. We did so many things together, until she had gastric bypass surgery three years ago. Mind you, Dana was never fat. She may have been overweight, but she was never morbidly obese. She never participated in any of the fun sports I did, such as mud/obstacle course runs or fun 5Ks. Her lack of participation wasn’t due to her weight; she just said it “wasn’t for her.”
After Dana lost some weight from her surgery, her mindset changed. She started making repeated snide remarks to me about my weight. I have some joint issues that are genetic. She said, “Maybe your weight doesn’t help.” Eventually, we stopped doing much together.
Lately she has been posting, “Does anyone want to participate?” in mud runs and 5Ks that I do, but she won’t ask me. Many people have pointed out that Dana has been copying my life for some time now. We decided to test that theory by purposely posting certain things on Facebook.
If we posted pictures of butterflies, SHE would post pictures of butterflies. If my husband posted an event, SHE would post the same event. I got a full sleeve tattoo on my left arm, and so did she, by the same tattoo artist. She likes things my husband posts and even asked me “if he has a brother.”
The whole dynamic is odd. Some say imitation is flattery, but I’m not flattered. More and more people say she’s trying to be me. I don’t want to be friends with Dana anymore. Am I overreacting?
Signed, Yvonne
From Lexington, Kentucky
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Dear Yvonne,
You’re right, this isn’t flattery, it’s insanity! However, the solution is simple. Start posting somethings on Facebook, that only an outright lunatic would duplicate, which is what she is. Her some options I think you should consider. Tell her you recently jumped out of an airplane with no parachute, and you landed safely in a nearby lake. And BTW, when you hit the water at that speed, it’s no different than concrete. Or, start calling her “Lady Xerox”, and hopefully she won’t be too stupid to pick up the hint. Or this one. Post that you recently leaped into the lion pen at the local zoo, and you can’t belief how playful they are, and how much they like their tummies rubbed. Since lions are pretty fast, she may not be able get out of there before she realizes that she’s a potential snack. And lastly, accommodate her request to date your husband’s brother if he has one. Tell him to take her out on a date. And before the night is over, tell him to say to her, “I really don’t like you. Do you have a sister?” I hope this helps.
Blake