BREAKING NEWS – Bentonville, Arkansas – Adoption agencies nationwide are outraged at Wal-Mart’s plan to start selling babies over the counter. The retail giant defended their new product, by stating that they are a family store, thus they will help people create a family. They also said that they will give a full refund to any parents for 18 years, if the child drops out of school, joins a gang, or obsessively uses the word “like”.