BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – According to National Geographic Magazine, scientists and archaeologists have now come up with a shocking conclusion regarding the Mayan calendar. Initially they thought that the pre-Columbian Mesoamericans predicted that the world would end on 12/21/12. Now they say that date was the day when the Mayans believed that everyone on the entire planet would be gay, and that would be the last generation of humans since there would no longer be any new births. They also predicted that Richard Simmons would be elected president in 2024.