BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – President Obama finally holds his first press conference in almost nine months. He tells reporters that he is sick and tired of people complaining about how much he’s spending and how it’ll affect the future. He went on to explain that by the time children today are in their 70’s, they will be use to working 16 hours per day, from two full time jobs, so it won’t be any big deal. And he concluded by adding, this is why his wife Michelle has been do dedicated to encouraging children to eat healthier, so they will be physically prepared for a grueling schedule that will continue during their twilight years.