BREAKING NEWS – Boston, Massachusetts – After recently acquiring the medical files of all of the Commanders in Chief, the New England Journal of Medicine has now come up with the list of the unhealthiest presidents. According to the NEJM the top four are, William Howard Taft because he weighed over 300 pounds, Franklin Roosevelt because of his polio, with Bill Clinton and John F. Kennedy tied for third, because of their weekly visits to the hospital for contracting a variety of STDs.