BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder steps away from the podium after giving a press conference, visibly shaken. Reporters hammered him regarding his authorization of the Justice Department secretly obtaining two months of telephone records of reporters and editors for The Associated Press, in what the news cooperative’s top executive called a “massive and unprecedented intrusion” into how news organizations gather the news. Holder explained that it was a big misunderstanding, and he only requested the records to determine if there were any legal or technical issues on why so many Sprint and T-Mobile customers complain about dropped calls.