BREAKING NEWS – Gulfport, Florida – Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson finally respond to the robbing and vicious beating of a white sixth-grader at the hands of three older African-Americans in Florida, despite a growing chorus of critics who called their silence hypocrisy given their recent, racially-charged condemnation of the Sunshine State. Jackson and Sharpton issued a joint statement that read, ”Just because three African-Americans were involved in some friendly ‘roughhousing’, we shouldn’t make a federal case out of it”.