BREAKING NEWS – Malmö, Sweden – The Nordic Society for Invention and Discovery has created new dog-to-English translator for those who want to talk to the animals and have them talk back. The technology uses a headset to measure brain activity through lightweight electroencephalography (EEG) and translates the mental states they read there. So far, the most common things the canines are saying is, “This dog food tastes gross” and “start giving me a breath mint after every meal you idiot”.