BREAKING NEWS – Houston, Texas – Religion and astronomy may not overlap often, but a new NASA X-ray image captures a celestial object that resembles the “Hand of God.” With the use of a Nuclear Spectroscopic Telescope Array at NASA’s Chandra X-ray Observatory, they determined that the “hand” is headed toward earth even faster than the speed of light. Theologians believe that because God is so frustrated with the amount of idiots on this planet, it’s part of His plan to slap us silly.