BREAKING NEWS – Painted Post, New York – Officials at the 2014 Scripps National Spelling Bee are stating that they will seriously consider the suggestion given to them by co-champions Ansun Sujoe and Sriram Hathwar. The two winners want the spelling rules to change next year to make it more competitive for U.S. born students that attend to public schools. Because of the confirmation that public schools in America has some of the dumbest kids on earth, the new rule for those particular contestants will be, their words will have only one syllable, no more than three letters, and if they get stuck they can phone a friend.