BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Due to the amount of homeless people standing in the street holding up signs begging for money, President Obama is now allotting over $2 billion to deal with the currently situation. Later this year, the federal government will begin issuing iPads to these individuals to digitally display their requests. President Obama also promised to try to get a law passed that will make it illegal for motorists or pedestrians to pass any homeless person with an iPad, without reading their personal messages as long as they are three pages or less.