BREAKING NEWS – Petaluma, California – Petaluma police have recovered nine little green men that went missing from residences on the east side of the city earlier this month. They were found safe on the lawn of a residence on Crinella Drive and their disappearance is being considered a practical joke, Lt. Tim Lyons said. Residents place the 2.5-foot plastic, lime green figures on sidewalks near the curb at their homes to alert drivers to slow down for children playing in the neighborhood, Lyons said. The federal government has now reluctantly admitted that the little plastic green men were initially obtained by NASA, when the Rover stole them from several school zones after landing on Mars.