BREAKING NEWS – Fort Kent, Maine – Maine Gov. Paul LePage, declaring negotiations have failed, vowed Thursday to use the “full extent of his authority” to deal with nurse Kaci Hickox who is defying the state’s “voluntary” quarantine after returning from treating West Africa Ebola patients. The statement came as the nurse defied the quarantine by going for a bike ride with her boyfriend Thursday morning. Immediately after that incident, Vice President Joe Biden weighed in by saying that the health of the public is the number one priority, and if he was the governor of Maine, he would not hesitate to sue Schwinn.