BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Outgoing democratic Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid has given the new republican Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell a very stern warning. Reid stated at a press conference after the republicans won enough votes to take over the Senate, “That if McConnell does to the democrats, what I have done to the republicans over the past six years by blocking almost every bill they supported, it will prove that he is a very vengeful man. I have reached out to McConnell for several hours after reflecting on my behavior since I was the Senate Majority Leader to apologize, but he won’t take my calls”. His voice cracked several times when he spoke. “If he was a real man, he would accept my apology and promise not to duplicate the mean-spirited things I did to his party even though I thoroughly enjoyed it. Doggone it, I’m sorry! Based on the fact that I’m only two years older than him and it looks more like fifty, this shows that this country has really lost its way because people no longer respect their elders.” He then abruptly ended the press conference, gestured with his hands for McConnell to call him, and with tears in his eyes he slowly wobbled away.