BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – The Defense Secretary job opening is emerging as a thanks-but-no-thanks opportunity, as some of the top potential prospects have already said they’re not interested in the job. Within minutes of reports Monday that Secretary Chuck Hagel would resign, the names of Michele Flournoy, current Defense Department Deputy Secretary Bob Work, Rhode Island Sen. Jack Reed, and Ashton Carter emerged as top prospects. But each made it clear by the end of the day that they had zero interest in the new opening. All four of them were very blunt and explained that due to their current aspirations and future endeavors, they do not want to put on their resumes that they accepted an appointment from President Obama. They further collectively explained, that because of the “President’s track record of making high level appointments”, people will conclude that they are more than likely incompetent, corrupt, or a combination of the two.