BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – PETA announces that they have plans to file complaints against all parents that have allowed their toddlers to abuse Teddy Bears. The animal rights group say they have some “horrific images” of Teddy Bears with ears missing, no eyes, and several even appeared to be dismembered. PETA also stated that they plan on filing a lawsuit against Toys “R” Us, alleging that they have been fully aware of these ongoing “barbaric acts” and failed to report them, equating it with the Holocaust, slavery, and the CIA using enhanced interrogation techniques on detainees.