BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – The ACLU announces that are now willing to represent any robber in a lawsuit, that was shot by a homeowner, or was even threatened to be shot. The civil rights organization is now encouraging burglars to carry a firearm with them during home entries for their own protection. They also blamed the NRA, for suggesting that people should escalate a situation by brandishing a weapon and issuing violent terrorists threats while pointing a gun at the uninvited guests. The ACLU is also blaming homeowner’s insurance companies, for not regularly reminding their policy holders that their property is covered, thus there is no rational reason to be hostile toward thieves that walk passed them late at night carrying replaceable possessions.