BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – Despite the buzz Katie Couric will not be returning to NBC. Despite all the rumors about Katie Couric returning to NBC, network sources tell The New York Post, “Katie is not welcome back at the ‘Today’ show.” According to insiders, Matt Lauer has firmly stated that he will not co-host the show with anyone can “overshadow” him. If they rehired Couric, Lauer is now threatening to embarrass NBC even more regarding Brian Williams, by exposing one of his biggest secrets, specifically hours of footage of him off camera speaking normally with a heavy middle eastern accent.