BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – The White House head florist is gone and rumors are flying about why. Former head florist Laura Dowling was hired amid fanfare but said to have been escorted from the White House in February. According to several unnamed sources, Dowling was accused of intentionally growing “less potent weed” in the White House gardens. She said that she felt the current cannabis was way too strong and took it upon herself to grow a milder version.  But many of the people that regularly met in the Situation Room immediately noticed the weaker marijuana, because they said after one joint, they were still thinking rationally.