BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – Civil right activist Al Sharpton is currently demanding that MLB commissioner Bud Selig get investigated by Congress. Sharpton is alleging that because the person that bats fourth on a team is called “clean-up” is often black, it indirectly suggests that African-Americans should be janitors instead of playing professional baseball. He also wants to know if there is a possible racial component to “stealing bases”.