BREAKING NEWS – Concord, New Hampshire – Democratic Presidential front-runner Hillary Clinton’s security detail led a handful of journalists on two lengthy high-speed chases to homes of influential Democrats on Monday. Hillary’s signature black conversion exceeded 92 mph in a driving rainstorm on Interstate 89, where the top speed limit is 65. After being stopped by a cop, she initially alleged that some prankster painted over the “6” on the posted speed limit of 65, and replaced it with a “9”. When the cop said he didn’t believe her, in one quick motion, she snatched the radar gun from him and promptly deleted all of the information.