BREAKING NEWS – Los Angeles, California – An aide to California Attorney General Kamala Harris has been arrested along with two others for allegedly operating an illegitimate “police department” that traces its origins to the Knights Templar. The Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department announced that the three suspects were taken into custody last week on suspicion of impersonating police officers through their roles in the so-called Masonic Fraternal Police Department. While not a recognized law enforcement arm, all three people arrested maintain that their organization has existed for 3,000 years and has jurisdiction in 33 states and Mexico. And to be consistent with that time period, some of the people arrested by the Masonic cops were tossed into a dungeon for simple traffic violations. For the more serious infractions, the detainees were driven to the San Diego Zoo and fed to the lions. Employees there said this would explain why the large predatory cats have been ignoring their meals, yet still had dramatic weight increases.
