BREAKING NEWS – Lake Elsinore, California – Pop star Ariana Grande has become even more defiant after being caught on video licking a doughnut that she didn’t pay for at Wolfee Donuts, and then saying “I hate Americans. I hate America.” She then stated angrily, “I don’t see why everyone is getting worked up over this! It’s not like I stole the doughnut! They sold the doughnut to someone else and made a profit, so what’s the big deal? This is why I hate this nitpicking country! I wish they would start using their efforts to focus on more important issues of the day, like dealing with the ongoing illegal immigration issues on the eastern borders!”