BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – In football this past weekend, Boston College destroys Howard University 76-0 in a 50 minute match before a lethargic crowd off 26,132 at Alumni Stadium. BC led 62-0 at the halftime prompting both camps to agree to 10-minute quarters in the second half. BC enjoyed a 483-11 advantage in totals yards and a 24-2 in first downs. Outraged at this lopsided victory over the the predominately black college, Al Sharpton is now demanding some immediate NCAA rule changes that he has created, calling it the “Affirmative Action Athletic Program”. Under the new rules, Howard University’s football team would get 20 points for every touchdown they score, and 10 points for every field goal. Sharpton went on to say, “And if Howard University is ever losing at halftime, opposing Caucasian players should be warned that if they tackle any HU player in the second half, they will be immediately arrested on the field, and charged with committing a hate crime”.