BREAKING NEWS – Leonberg, Germany – Volkswagen is now in even more trouble after it has been revealed that the airbags fall far below U.S. and international vehicular standards. Currently, installed in the dashboards of all of their cars instead of airbags, are tall kitchen plastic bags made by Glad. The CEO of Glad A.G. Lafley who is vigorously defending Volkswagen, stated that the bags are perfectly safe, and he has proof that test after test they didn’t tear when full, as long as the drawstring was properly secured.