BREAKING NEWS – Houston, Texas – Observations of Mars indicate that rivers and oceans may have been prominent features in its early history. But the planet is smaller than Earth, with less gravity and a thinner atmosphere. Over time, as liquid water evaporated, more and more of it escaped into space, allowing less to fall back to the surface of the planet. According to a top secret memo leaked from NASA, Martians told them that they have learned to cope with the continuous drought, and they hopefully will never reduce themselves to the point where they perpetual whine about the issue like millions of self-centered, entitlement minded Californians.
