BREAKING NEWS – Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania – An unknown man representing PETA is seen laying down next to two plastic turkeys, encouraging people not to consume the popular bird this coming Thanksgiving. Thomas A. Marshall who is executive director of the American Association of Neurological Surgeons, stated that the man’s actions suggest that eating exclusively vegetables destroys the brain cells which controls the ability to reason. He went on to say, “that the overwhelming medical research also reflects that the loss of this function can also cause people to feel compelled to publicly humiliate themselves in the downtown area of a major city.”
