BREAKING NEWS – North Pole, Alaska – Santa Claus is currently struggling try to replace five of the eight reindeer that are currently in drug rehab due to their crystal-meth addiction. Santa said he could still use them to fly, but the elves refuse to approach the sleigh to load it with presents, because they felt the rotten teeth and the sunken faces of the five reindeer was too frightening and nauseating to look at.
