BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – A memo leaked from the ACLU Headquarters, stated that they wanted Osama bin Laden brought back alive to the United States, where they had a legal team ready to defend him. They were planning on arguing in court, that his discontentment with U.S. policies was the cause of his orchestrated attacks around the world against American interests. They concluded by stating that their closing argument would be, that Osama bin Laden should not be sent to prison, because he was nothing more than an overzealous protestor expressing his views, that happened to be a collector of guns and explosives.