BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Navy SEAL teams don’t have enough combat rifles to go around, even as these highly trained forces are relied on more than ever to carry out counterterrorism operations and other secretive missions, according to SEALs who have confided in Rep. Duncan Hunter, R-Calif. He further explained that “sharing rifles may seem inconsequential. It’s not. The weapons, which are outfitted with telescopic targeting sights and laser pointers, are fine-tuned to individual specifications and become intensely personal pieces of gear.”
“They want their rifles,” Hunter said. “It’s their lifeline. So let them keep their guns until they’re assigned desk jobs at the Pentagon.”
Vice President Joe Biden commented on the situation by saying, “It serves the Navy SEALS right! These people appear to be constantly looking for a confrontation! I have countless documents of these men acting violently after they were ordered to go to a variety of locations all over the globe. Maybe the Pentagon would be more accommodating to them if they had a warm and friendlier attitude when they interacted with some of our deadly enemies.”