BREAKING NEWS – Salt Lake City, Utah – The state of Utah has now declared pornography a public health crisis. A parade of speakers including Gov. Gary Herbert spoke during a ceremonial signing of the declaration – calling pornography a plague that warps minds and threatens marriages. He then added, “I have been looking at graphic sexual images and x-rated movies on websites like www.watchmygf.xxx several times a day for decades, and it is only due to my exceptionally strong will power that I have continued to avoid getting addicted.”