BREAKING NEWS – Fredericksburg, Virginia – Currently eSports (also known as electronic sports) is poised to be the most popular sports in terms of viewership hours in the United States by 2018, passing the NHL. CEO of eSports Noah Whinston stated, “It’s about time that people who are not physically gifted in any way, shape, or form, get a chance to embrace the ‘illusion’ that they are some sort of an athlete in a sport. Most of our participants are jobless asexual geeky young men that have never been on a date, who have built up an immunity from illnesses relating to living in their parent’s damp basements, that are simply trying to get a little respect.”
