BREAKING NEWS – Lausanne, Switzerland – President of the International Olympics Committee Thomas Bach, has announced that they changed the policy to adapt to current scientific, social and legal attitudes on transgender issues. Some but not all transgender athletes should be allowed to compete in the Olympics and other international events without undergoing sex reassignment surgery, according to new guidelines. Female-to-male athletes can compete ‘without restriction’, while male-to-female athletes must undergo hormone therapy, in which many people deem unfair and discriminatory. After the policy was made public, many men who identified themselves as women were very distraught, and some of them were seen weeping and wiping the tears out of their beards.