BREAKING NEWS – Austin, Texas – After getting out of the race, Senator Ted Cruz finally makes a public appearance from barricading himself in his office for over a month. He was somehow persuaded to move the furniture that he piled up against the door, when his staff convinced him that RNC has agreed to do the primaries all over again. Unconfirmed reports state he his currently under heavy sedation and was temporarily moved out of the country, resting comfortably in either Cuba or Canada.
