BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – Joey “Jaws” Chestnut regained the Mustard Yellow International Belt, ousting Matt “The Megatoad” Stonie of the championship title at the annual July 4th hot dog eating contest at Nathan’s Famous in Coney Island. He downed 70 hot dogs and buns in 10 minutes — the most hot dogs and buns ever eaten at the competition. In a brilliant business move, his agent persuaded corporations to follow the hot dog eating champion around for an hour after his victory, which caused Chesnut to pick up commercial endorsements from Ex-Lax, Rolaids, and Glade.
