BREAKING NEWS – Plano, Texas – After more than 100 years and 23 billion tiny toys, Cracker Jack is no longer adding those traditional prizes to its packages of caramel-coated popcorn. Finally yielding to pressure from the ACLU, who stated in a letter to Cracker Jacks, “Prizes in the the box denotes a winner, which suggests that someone else is a loser, and that can damage the self-esteem of an individual standing next to someone that’s eating Cracker Jacks.” Now all prizes have been removed and have been replaced with tiny participation certificates.
