BREAKING NEWS – New Haven, Connecticut – A group of wealthy Yale University graduate students announced Tuesday evening that they would be undertaking a hunger strike to pressure the administration into granting them better union benefits. The strike is taking place in front of University President Peter Salovey’s home. As it turns out, the hunger strike might not put anyone’s health in peril. According to a pamphlet posted on Twitter by a former Yale student, the hunger strike is “symbolic” and protesters can leave and get food when they can no longer go on. A spokesman for the students stated that “the hunger strike is still on, we simply decided not to eat anything between our three daily gourmet meals.”
