BREAKING NEWS – Santa Monica, California – Need to travel 400 miles in eight minutes? Just hop in a Hyper Chariot pod, which uses roller coaster–type technology akin to Elon Musk’s proposed Hyperloop train and will be able to travel up to 4,000 miles per hour. The car–sized pods (which can hold up to six people) would travel through airless “ultra high performance” concrete tubes using high–grade vacuum technology to travel at five times the speed of sound. The tubes will be lined with solar panels and would use cryogenically-chilled superconductors to create quantum levitation. According to Musk, “the only downside to the new mode of transportation, is the occupants in the Hyper Chariot pod will be slightly compressed and will lose approximately 2 inches of their height per trip. Hopefully, the people that will use our services frequently, won’t have an issue with eventually becoming runts.”
