BREAKING NEWS – Islamabad, Pakistan – Prime Minister Yousuf Rasa Gilani warns the United States that his country could respond to any future raids on its soil with “full force.” According to an unnamed source from the White House, after his public declaration, the Department of Defense sent Gilani an email, giving him some specific details about the power and precision of several types of U.S. cruise missles, plus knowledge of his home address. The Prime Minister later replied to the email in an Arabic phrase translated into English meaning “Hey guys, I was just kidding.”