BREAKING NEWS – Middle East – At a press conference, the President of the middle eastern chapters of the ACLU, stated that he plans on filing a formal complaint against at least four countries on behalf of female suicide bombers. He added that it is unfair for men to receive 72 virgins while the women receive nothing and it would only be fair, if the men and women each received 36, splitting the difference. Later in the day, he was found beheaded in his home. No suspects have been arrested.