BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Congressional Republicans once bracing for the possibility of a Democratic “tsunami” in this year’s elections now appear on the offensive — bolstered by new polls suggesting Americans like their recent tax cuts, and the opportunity to pounce on Democratic House leader Nancy Pelosi’s remark about the bonuses and paycheck increases amounting to “crumbs.” Pelosi further explained what she meant when she made the statement. “What I meant by ‘crumbs’, is the republicans are teasing people with the tax bonuses, because it is a temporary meal. If I had the power, not one single person would’ve received a bonus. If a man is hungry, you don’t give him a couple of crumbs so he can start getting his hopes up high, you let him starve to death to end his suffering. I am worth about $30 million dollars, and almost all of the servants at my mansion are in this country illegally. I don’t tease them with giving them bonuses or a pay raise, because they would assume it would happen again. In fact, most of them are grateful that I don’t give them a pay cut from their current below minimum wage. Thus, I feel it would be improper for me to increase their salary by one penny… or peso.”
